A lot of women make the mistake of giving up their power to a man when he pulls away.
I want to make things work for you. That’s the worst thing you can do.
If you start chasing him when he pulls away, you are doing more harm than good. It is not for the reasons you think.
In this article, I am going to explain why you shouldn’t chase a guy who pulls away in order to get him back.
It’s not a good idea to chase a guy after he pulls away.
Here is the the thing:
He knows you are after a guy who pulls away. He doesn’t have to make a decision because you aren’t leaving. He is going to take advantage of that.
I have seen it WAY too many times.
When a man leaves, how long until he comes back?
A man will pull away and a woman will chase after him. A woman may chase several reasons.
- She does not know why he pulled away.
- It was all of a sudden
- She doesn’t want to give up on them.
- She may need his validation.
- You are going to chase a guy you love.
- She doesn’t know when she’s going to find a good guy.
- Her biological clock is ticking
- She thought he was on the one
It’s only important signs wife is changing mind about divorce to you. He puling away because he doesn’t care. Understanding how the dynamics unfold when you start chasing is important.
He needs to understand what goes on in his mind.
It is a bad idea to chase a man.
Guys always go towards what they think is the best for them. It is in his best interests to invest in you if he really likes you.
If you two are on different pages in terms of what you want, he may back off because he is not in anyone’s best interest.
He has a lot of advantages when you chase after him.
- You give him a lot of power
- He can better plan against you or what he wants with the cards you reveal.
- He knows he has you
- A great ego boost
- He may think that you are the only one like him.
- He doesn’t have to decide if he’s going to come back with you or not.
- He will take you for granted even more because you are not worth as much.
It is a power dynamic.
It’s a must-read about how to get a guy to ignore you.
Why would I come back if I knew that I was in high demand? The guy doesn’t have to make a decision today, tomorrow, next week, or the week after. I know where you will be.
I know that is harsh, but why shouldn’t he think so? I tell women that a lot.
A man can only go off what he sees. He does not make many assumptions. He needs the information you give him.
I see it every day. Women will ask why the guy hasn’t returned after a month. The chemistry and sex they had was out of this world.
That does not mean he needs to come back tomorrow.
You need to convince him that he made a mistake. If you are not creating it, how will he do that?
The fact that the guy is pulling away is what I am saying. By chasing a guy who is taking you for granted, you are lowering your value.
How do you manage to fix that one?!
I can tell you not to chase him right now.
I’ve been the one chasing. I know what happens on both ends.
If you are chasing, you have an outcome. You want to find results. You can either get away from the situation or not care enough to invest.
You have to think about the negotiation. It is not the best time to negotiate since you are in a weaker position. Wait until he misses you and then use his desire to negotiate later on.
What if he never returns?
Two things on men who “come back” around:
A majority of the time, returning isn’t a good thing. I talk about it here.
If he doesn’t come back, it’s good. He gave you some time. It might as well be a broken heart.
A lot of women don’t understand that a guy comes back for assets not for regrets.
A lot of you think he wakes up missing you and regretting his decision to leave because he knows you are the best thing he can ever get.
Does that happen?
Not at all. Very rare actually.
There is a reason for that.
Wouldn’t I try to get the assets I got from you without committing first?
Why would I suddenly want a relationship when I hadn’t talked to you for a long time? That doesn’t make sense It is too big of a gap to jump.
I would like to have my cake and eat it too.
Why not talk to you AND other women?
I know you are going to say that. He won’t get any benefits when he returns. He has to do his part.
It doesn’t work out as you think it will. Guys will come back and try to get back into the building. Guys will invest in you and talk to other women without you knowing.
He wants to jump into a monogamous-exclusive relationship if he comes back. The advantage goes towards him if anything else is not done. It isn’t safe.
Let me know what you think. Do you run? Do they ever return?